Improvement needed

I have been examining myself lately and noticing areas where I feel really improved and areas where I really need work. Sadly, the areas where I feel good about myself are fewer than those where I need work....though I suppose this is the case with most of us.

Lately I have felt that I am doing a better job at being less selfish as a mommy....I have learned that no matter how badly I may want to do something out of the house, that the health and safety of my kids is much more important. I think the whole pneumonia and bronchilitis thing that we went through recently really made this hit home for me. I am not doing so great yet at being a less selfish wife....although this whole hubby has control of the TV for a week is surprisingly helpful....I am seeing how relaxed he seems watching his shows and it is inspiring me to let him watch a little more.....might help him with his goal of being on the computer less too. (I really need to work on letting him rest more.)
Speaking of resting, this is an area that continues to plague me....even when I get what should be the right amount of sleep for the night, I still want to return to bed for a bit after Peter returns from his paper route. Now part of this is how I control my depression...it does cause me to not want to start my day right away, but the rest of it well..I am not sure what that is all about. I know I would feel more energized, if I got up, read my Bible, ate breakfast, etc at the same time every day, but I seem to lack the motivation. (Now, my boys are up by 7am most days - John is usually up earlier than that - so this is part of it....I am not a morning person, so the idea of getting up at 5:30am so I can get things done before they are up is probably never going to happen....) However, I could use the time before Peter goes to his 2nd job or goes to bed to rest for a night shift to do more than I actually do....why don't I is what I ask myself.
(Oh, and let us not forget that I find myself eating throughout the day as a means to stay awake or just out of boredom....hardly ever a good snack and usually done while Ray is not looking so as he does not pick up my bad habit...sneaking food, really?!)
I am also one of the worst housekeepers you will meet....the dust piles up, the floor needs vacuumed (especially now that John is crawling), bathroom needs to be cleaned way more often that it happens, yet I don't feel bad about this until I go to finally get around to doing it and then I am horrified.
In some ways I feel that I am a lazy mommy who needs to spend more time playing with her boys and in other ways I feel that I am lazy and need to focus more on housework. I do not do enough of either activity. Raymond plays well alone and John spends most of his day nursing...or so that is how I feel. I felt like I accomplished a lot this morning in the way of cleaning while John slept, but then I also felt that I could have spent it better breaking out the play dough and playing with Ray. Anyone else have trouble with this conundrum?
I want to do better at grocery shopping and menu planning as well. Though a lot of nights I feel like no matter what I make, there is no point because Ray will more than likely not touch his dinner and so far I still struggle with convincing John that food (other than the stuff that comes from mommy) is a good thing.
As always, I welcome your thoughts....I was going to keep going, but I think this post has been a bit of a ramble (and possibly a bit confusing) already ;)